What can we learn from dreams?
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As a recovering doormat, I often dream about situations where I need to defend myself.
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I have a recurring nightmare where I’m chased down an alleyway by an unknown assailant.
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I back further into the darkness, staying silent so I’m not found.
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But something interesting happened as I learned to use my voice in real life.
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One night I realized, “Hey- I don’t need to be the victim in this nightmare. Why am I hiding?”
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I yelled at the bad guy.
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“I know you’re in here!” I growled. “Show me what you’ve got! Come get me!”
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The second I heard the words leave my throat, my fear disappeared.
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Instantly I was in a position of power.
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The alley didn’t seem so dark anymore. I was no longer tempted to retreat. I held my ground.
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Last night, I had a new dream.
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Crowds of strangers were inside my house. They just wound up in there somehow- poof! When I walked through the door, there they were.
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Where the old me would have politely asked them how long they intended to stay, silently resenting their presence but cooking them dinner anyway, the new me threw my purse down and started corralling the herd.
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“GET OUT!” I yelled. “Everyone out NOW!”
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Let me tell you- it felt fan-fucking-tastic.
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I woke up happy. 💃
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Happy, and also curious who those people were.
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Did they represent external opinions that I no longer care about?
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Limiting beliefs that I’ve actively been squashing?
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Boundaries previously crossed where I’ve drawn a line?
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I don’t know. 🤷♀️
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But I will take that feeling into my day with me.
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I’ve got a couple tough conversations coming up, and I can’t help but think this was a little gift from the universe, reminding me to speak up.
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To banish unwanted guests.
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To remember that I’m the one in charge of my space - emotionally and physically.
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To resist the urge to shrink to accommodate folks who are unwilling to honour my boundaries.
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In my dreams, I’m no longer a doormat.
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And in my waking hours I’m getting better too.